From channel 4's (community) website at (http://www.channel4.com/community/showcards/V/Vids_-_Nige_and_Stef.html). Apr 11 2000
Vids - Nige and Stef
Nige and Stef joined us live online after the last in the current series of Vids. This chat contains strong language and unusual anatomical suggestions... be warned!
Stef : Hello everyone!
Nige : Hello guys..
G The Younger : Have fun in Amsterdam? an sionnach : NIGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nige : No because Stef was the only one who went to Amsterdam. Stef : I had great fun but unfortunately Nige wasn't there.
Xerxes : This question is for 'the welsh one' : Are you a vicar?
Nige : Think of Neil Kinnock! Nige speaks with fake Welsh accent Nige : I am!
jtu100 : Hey Nige. You are the funniest welsh person ever! When did u start making the retarded faces we all know and love?
Nige laughs Nige : I've always loved making faces like!
Dyablo : would you like to be on primetime, or would primetime destroy the essence of vids
Stef : Yes we'd love to be on primetime - but the content of the show won't allow us, it could probably go on earlier. Nige : Everybody wants to be a childrens TV presenter and we are the only ones that don't! We are not part of the juvenile norm!
cherry : any idea where I can get 'the 400 hundred' blows on video?
Nige : What was that???!!! Stef thinks Nige : Don't remember that one!
Moby : How the Hell did Channel 4 stumble across you two?
Nige : They found us in the gutter running up a drain and we looked really bored so if we could talk about films they said they'd put us on the television!
Fellatio247 : I was wondering what form of education the two of you had. Nige quite often comes out with some nigh-intelligent bollocks.
Nige : Erm... non educational background no sense of an academic past, if that's what you want to hear then goodbye! Nige chuckles
Domino : Who'd win in a bareknuckle, bareassed fistfight between you two and C4's other darling film-student-waster types, Adam and Joe?
Stef : They'd kill us!!! Nige : They take vitamin pills!
stephanie : Sorry to bump in but i'd say Ad & Joe would win [sorry lads]
Stef : They grew up with a proper genetic encoding Nige : Yeah well-bred individuals!
Chat Ed laffs
Nige : We're plebs! Stef : Bring it on!
paul : do you get to meet the gals from BITS or do you stay in your s'!$ty flat all day
Nige : We're actually in the flat now we've only actually heard of other programmes from the postman. Nige : We never get out - we've heard about these girls but we just don't know Stef laughs Stef : Nige would like a job on BITS so if anyone out there can give him a job!!! The only medium I have is via TV!
Craig2097 : Do you believe in the ancient pyramids of eygypt? And would you like to be abducted by one?
Nige : I wouldn't mind the pyramids up my arse!!! Stef : Yeah but I don't want to leave home though Nige!
hunteresthompson : i don't believe in egypt. it's implausibly far away jeramybeadlesrightha : are you 2 the original brains behind vidz or did some spotty student tosser create this wonderful art-form whilst having a moment of clarity during pre-ejaculation??
Stef : It was all our idea we deserve all the credit so we'd just like to pat each other on the back. Nige : I completely concour. Middle class mass employemnt of the media age! Stef : Yeah!!
ukcoolat : Would you piss on Leonardo DiCaprio if he was on fire?
Nige : I've had this really mad Leo DdiCaprio dream about stabbing him in the kidneys! A whole scenario of American Psycho Nige and Stef style! I'd love to talk to you about it! - you know sit down and have dinner one night and talk about Leonardo!
emma : have yo guys ever thought about making your own film?
Stef : Actaully we are going to make our own film! It's gonna be a cross between the X-Files, the Blues Brothers and The Accused. That's my first sort of pitch!
zy : Given the fact that you approach the kind of vids that we all *really* watch with some integrity of critical criteria (um, yes, I've been drinking) did it not annoy you to be held up as the epitome of bad film reviewing since Barry Norman's departure (coughs blood) in a recent Guardian reviews leader?
Stef : It does in a way yeah, because we do try and put a point across and it comes out as hopefully a good laugh and not everyone is going to appreciate it which doesn't bother us. Jonathan Ross started off in this kind of way though.
benvoid : IF YOU HAD A FIGHT WITH BARRY NORMAN WHO WOULD WIN?
Nige : Well I think Barry Norman would just grab me and stick his claws in! I'd kick him in the knackers!!! It's like the achilles heal! He'd be like shivering on the floor, I'd like smile.
defcon5 : why do all the pron you review seem to be taken from channel 5's collection mikey boy : WHATS PRON? Chat Ed : porn, darling.
Nige : Because we never get a chance to review what porn we watch, only what is released the following week which is usually crap! It's invariably shit! We try the best we can. People say we are twats but all this crap comes in week in week out and we have to review it. Nige makes noises Nige : We know that we can only ever skim it. We stick our tongues out and skim it, like a bungee rope on the water. Stef laughs
trayl : is it me or are there 2 Joan Of Arc movies at the mo? I rented 'Joan Of Arc' expecting Mila Jovovich and I got the bird from twister? Can you help?
Stef : You need help because Joan of Arc has just come out in the cinema the other version will be a dodgy version. You'll have to wait till it comes out on the big screen.
Gomez : What's the ideal culinary accompaniment for the humble video?
Stef ponders Nige : I don't eat! Stef : He had an operation and he doesn't have stomach anymore!
dogbert : alternately what's the ideal video accompanyment for the humble dinner?
Stef : Best film to watch while you are eating is The Karate Kid III - for it's drama, comedy, action and general stuff. Stef : I've no idea - watch what you want!
3rd Stage Guild Navi : Do you think there is a chance of Predator vs Alien ever being filmed?
Nige : I hope yeah definitely because I will play both parts! I will play the part of the Predator and you wouldn't even know I was there. Also I am the alien.
emma : do you think it's possible to combine martial arts, pornography and science fiction in one film?
Stef : Anything's possible!
pooch : I can believe that Nige is an alien
Stef : In fact you've just given us a great idea for our film emma! Thank you very much. That answers our previous question!!!
Chrys : who is the 1st to puke on a drinking session?
Stef : The Queen Mother probably! Nige : Me like!
Buffy : Is there any Chance I could have your autographs pretty please, as I am a big fan?
Stef : Of course! You will have to get in contact with Ideal World Productions in Glasgow - but it shouldn't be a problem!
Chat Ed : That's it folks! Thanks for coming, Stef and Nige. Hope you enjoyed it...
Buffy : I LOVE YOU STEFF! Domino : This isn't a question, but whatthehell...bye then guys. Sorry to see you both die, hope you get well soon.
Nige : That's great! Ta! Stef : Cool
Gomez : I LOVE YOU BOTH!!!!!!! Chesh : Ich loves me texxen! mikey boy : GAH
Stef : Thank you very much for watching we get paid for watching movies, hugs and kisses. Nige : I feel sick and I hope that you can help my sickness
Nige leaves the room Stef leaves the room